Debbie Downer

I like to think of myself as a realist, a person who tends to view or represent things as they really are. In actuality, I spend most of my time trying to be an optimist. Day in and day out, I try to convince myself and others that the proverbial glass is half full. So often, I place a positive spin on crappy news I receive, and I spend time editing verbal communication so that what I am saying is more cheerful than what I might be thinking. As a self-proclaimed realist, I believe that I am doing myself no favors when I constantly act as an optimist. So, why do I do it? Unfortunately, society views anything other than optimism as pessimism, and no one wants be perceived as a "Debbie Downer." In addition, a good mood certainly is more enjoyable than a bad mood, and thinking optimistically often helps improve my mood.

The problem is that thinking optimistically cannot change situations that are beyond our control. When we are dealt a bad hand in poker, it behooves us to recognize that we have a bad hand and that there is nothing we can do about it. After all, we can't expect all hands to be winning hands. Such thinking would be foolish. Isn't life the same way? Some situations are not what we want them to be. Wouldn't we be better off to recognize less than ideal situations for what they really are? If we continually try to place a positive spin on circumstances beyond our control, I believe that we end up like the poker player who continues to play regardless of the hand dealt. We lose big time!

One of my favorite shows from childhood is The Facts of Life. I love the theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_GxXRbSFDg. It is neither optimistic nor pessimistic. It is realistic.

Note: As I was writing this blog, I came across an SNL “Debbie Downer” skit that I had not seen. This particular one is quite funny.  In fact, I laughed quietly several times while viewing it.  Here's a link to the skit: http://www.hulu.com/watch/68225/saturday-night-live-debbie-downer.